Joe Biden will personally stop the coronavirus, with his bare hands

… while Donald Trump might just harass it into submission

I’m not a TV watcher, but have recently lived in an apartment with a television and have therefore on occasion been exposed to presidential campaign ads. Man, am I glad I’m a foreigner and not allowed to vote in the US — I’d be ashamed to participate in this circus.

Of course I want you guys to vote, but I don’t want you to participate in this presidential election farce. Vote for your local politicians and ignore the big hoo-ha around Biden and Trump.

I’ve only seen Biden ads, I guess due to the choice of TV channel I’ve been watching The Simpson on. I don’t have to watch the Trump ads to know that they’re probably the same, maybe worse.

Mr. Biden focusses heavily on the corona crisis and claims the coronavirus is not a partisan issue, but he makes it one by making it a key point in his ads. He will also stop the virus by testing more, and manufacturing masks in the US. Let me parse that:

Increased testing does not stop the virus. It will only tell us what scientists have told us from the beginning: everyone will get it! Spreading more panic by reporting increasing case numbers doesn’t help anyone. Since everyone will get it, there is not point in reporting case numbers. Deaths have been fairly stable, despite the recent spikes in case numbers. This would be consistent with statements of scientists saying that most Covid victims would have very likely died within the year anyway. And there is also a huge discrepancy in reporting deaths with to Covid vs deaths due Covid. That’s a crucial distinction.

The availability of face masks is no longer an issue and therefore local production does not make much of a difference. Also, it is still not scientifically proven that wearing a mask to protect yourself from getting sick is actually a thing. People who are sick should wear a mask to protect others. But then again, since we’ll all get the virus, all we’re doing is prolonging this crisis more than is needed. The curves — to give health care systems a break — have been flattened a long time ago and we should now let the virus runs its course to achieve herd immunity. Period.

On a side note: Parts of the population were immune to the current coronavirus from the beginning. And “everyone will get the virus” does by far not mean everyone will develop the disease Covid-19 from it. And a vast majority of those developing the disease are not at risk of running a severe course of it. So Mr. Biden would be better off focussing on his third claim, namely that he will protect at-risk groups.

I don’t know if Mr. Trump makes the virus a campaign issue or not. One would guess that he’s the prime proof that the virus isn’t that bad for most of us, since he — an old dude — survived it just fine. Did he receive superior care? I’m sure. But that’s a bigger issue and should possibly be a real and serious campaign topic unrelated to any of the parties. The facts about the US healthcare system and social stratification speak louder than any party line.

So anyway, I can only imagine Trump’s ads in which he just gropes and sexaully harasses the virus into submission. With a naked upper body in true Putin style.

Have I mentioned I am glad I’m not allowed to vote? I’m sorry for America, because you’re getting a ridiculously sh**ty choice for a president this year. But then again I am guessing you’re already used to being lied to and ridiculed by your presidents. I don’t know, vote for Biden, I guess. But don’t vote for him based on his coronavirus promises or any other promises. He might overall just take you slightly more seriously than Trump does.

Happy voting, America!

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I am a scientist and writer. I aim to be a voice of reason and facts in this distorted world in which opinions are considered truth.

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